


You.

by rukitrash



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Drug Addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:46:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8254793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rukitrash/pseuds/rukitrash
Summary: No one else stayed. 
No one. 
Except you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @zombieisms who has been the Aoi to my Uruha for almost seven years now, maybe I'll expand on it too I haven't decided yet because boy would there be a lot to write if I started from the very beginning. <3

It is still hard for me to believe sometimes that you're still here.  
  
Sometimes I wake up just so I can hold you closer, just so I can rest my ear on your chest and listen to the steady beat of your heart; what an amazing sound it is. So simple and yet at the same time it means everything to me when I feel you wrap your arm around my waist and sleepily murmur that you love me and it's okay. So many people might think it's simple and that I overreact but can they blame me?  
  
You are so amazing, so wonderful, and **mine**.  
  
Countless nights of withdrawals, you would rub my back as I leaned over the toilet; hold my hair through it all and whisper soft words of encouragement, soft words of _I know you can do this and I'm here to help you through it._ There were nights where I wanted to claw my skin off because it burned and throbbed, and the shakes? I would lay there and shiver, no amount of blankets would make me warm again and you still sat through it, through the hallucinations, and my fits of rage when I wanted to relapse and you had thrown away all the needles.  
  
Those demons were so loud almost louder than you and I can't recall how many times you came home to me bleeding on the floor, and the garbled rushed _How come you didn't say anything?! Why didn't you call me?! I could have talked you down!_ You were always so scared that one day you would come home and it would be too late, I would be on the floor and you wouldn't get a response.

No one ever asked.  
  
They never asked how I was feeling or if everything was too much.  
  
I guess it was only natural right? Despite us sharing so much we still never crossed certain boundaries in each other's personal lives.  
  
People assume that because you smile and say that everything is okay that it was, even when it wasn't and my mask had become so wonderfully real that they couldn't tell the real thing from what was fake anymore. I always took pride in that you know? That no one could tell how broken I was inside, not even Reita and he had been my best friend for well over twenty years. It was an accomplishment of sorts to be able to hide from the one person who knew me better than I knew myself.  
  
The only one who saw the cracks in my mask had been you and that was only because you forced your way in when I pushed you out when I would yell and scream for you to leave me alone and never come back? You only pushed harder, refused to give up on me and consider it a lost cause like so many had done before you.  
  
Each whispered _It's okay I'm here, I'm here let me be stronger than those demons._  
  
Soft kisses upon the scars that covered my body, even the unseen ones _I'm here and I'm not going anywhere._  
  
The sentiment of being stuck with someone made me smile now and had tears of a sort sliding down my cheeks, whispered words of _thank you and I appreciate everything you have done for me_.  
  
"Don't cry. You're too loved to cry." Came a soft whisper as you joined me outside, the soft autumn air seemingly caressing my cheeks, but it would never compare to when I felt your fingers upon my skin; even tears of happiness you brushed away and kissed my cheeks, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.  
  
That was five years ago now and my scars were faded memories of a broken past because you noticed me? It was like everything began to repair itself; even if your palms were scarred from the jagged edges that had been everything I was, whispered words of I am here to stay and nothing you can do or say will make me want leave repaired the wounds over time and now it was just reflection of how I used to be.  
  
You told me that all you did was support me while I fixed myself yet you had done so much more than that, you loved me when I felt unlovable; made me smile when all I wanted to do was break, in a way you were probably right but without you none of it would have been possible.  
  
It had been a long journey and you remained by my side through it all, held my hand and kept me grounded; anchored me when I felt like I was drowning.  
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." I would whisper against your lips and all you would do was smile "Stop thanking me." because to you? The only thanks you needed were my smiles and healthy habits, and even though recovery is a lifelong battle I knew it would be okay as long as I had you by my side to help me through it.


End file.
